PLUS SIZE OPINION: THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE ABOUT CURVY DATING

Recently, I have been playing cupid/hitch to some of my friends. It started with a great man wanting to meet a great woman. Good thing that I know a lot of great women in various forms. I actually posted it in my facebook status (I am not as active as I would like to be), "Any great girl friend of mine willing to have a date with a great man friend of mine? Comment or PM me" The response was various. I have received a lot of pm's and the comments were just hilarious or curious. It was a fun thing that happened on my facebook page in a while.

In addition to that, I have stumbled upon this book in pinterest by Kat Bacon --- Get More Dates Than Your Skinny Friends. I haven't bought it but the gist given was basically it was all about confidence. I think it is an interesting book to read. I am a fan of real love stories of almost any form so I love reading dating books.

Anyway, to be honest, I would like to chime in on the matter as well. I must admit, as a curvy woman, and I do not mean to brag, but my love life is pretty healthy. Of course, I had my share of frogs but I have realized that I am the problem on that one. But learn and move on right? That is the key.

And if there is one thing that I have learned with regards to dating as a curvy woman is that we are just in the same dating game as the regular size women. There is a lot of notion that skinny girls get picked first and curvy girls second. Then there is the opposite thought that men love "meat", dog "bones" thing. But, personally for me, what we are really missing out is the truth that we are just like any other woman in the dating game. Why? Because just like women, men also has varying preferences and it's not just about size. Just like the females, men are also looking at (and not only for) the whole package. As such, there is no special treatment for any division, but there are some common pointers.

Again, these are just from my experience, results from each advice vary. Be normal and use your Divine given intellect, okay?

1. YOU ARE WHO YOU PROJECT

Guys like to take things in face value (and then dig in deeper later, depending on what you show them). If you become friendly to them, you will end up as a friend to them and they will keep on moving forward with that. If you act like you are 'one of the boys' then well, you will get treated as one of the boys and they will move forward with that. If you act like you are their lacky, then you will be their lacky and they will move forward with that and so on.

You want to have a date? Get a look that says it without looking desperate at the same time. So no to clothing allergy looks. No to shirts that says "I'm Available To Date" or thongs/t-backs that shows when you sit down. You are not projecting that you want to have a date. You are now officially projecting that you are now available for... a one time date in bed with a man who is not looking for a date.

Want to attract a romantic date? Project romantic. Look feminine. Look girly.

Want to attract a sensual date? Dress sensual. Mysterious. Act seductive.

Want to attract a fun date? Look fun. Be fun. Have a smile.

Think about it. Let's say you own a clothing business. Of course, to drive in customers that will want clothes, your store (both internal and external) need to project that you are a fashion line. From the name down to the internal system of the store, everything needs to scream fashion.

Do you think car posters and car displays around your store would drive in clothing customers? How about food posters and cupcakes on your windows? No. If you want to attract clothing buying customers, they have to see that you are selling clothes. Otherwise, that is just confusing.

But I want him to accept me as me. Yes and that is everyone's aim (even the males'). The thing is, we fail to realize that there are many sides of us waiting to be tried on. It's not being schizo or anything. It's about exploring that side and embracing ourselves as a whole.

The thing is... YOU ARE NOT A ONE TRACK WOMAN --- you are the whole PLAYLIST. So do not be afraid to change tunes every now and then. You will be surprised of the adventures that you end up with.

Okay, let's put it down to your side. Let's say you love a sensitive, romantic, preppy guy. Which guy would you get attracted to?

MAN 1: A high fashion guy that wears 5 trends at a time. He is known to go through women like the trends he is wearing. He is also known to be a social climber.

MAN 2: A collegiate looking guy in preppy attire. He is known for long relationships and grand gestures. He looks family oriented as well.

Which do you think you would be attracted to, given your "preferences"?

2. MEN ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT WITH WOMEN --- THEY ALSO HATE WOMEN WHO CONSTANTLY FISH FOR COMPLIMENTS

Don't you get irritated when one of your female friends sticks with her d-bag or a-hole boyfriend for years and she constantly complains about it but ends up not breaking up with him anyway? Doesn't it get your blood boiling when there are these women that posts on their facebook "I look ugly today." and then they look glorious? (Obviously, these women are fishing for compliments.) Finally, don't you think men think and feel the same?

There is a lot of notions that men are so different from women, but we forget the fact that there is one uniting factor --- we are both human. Chances are there are some men having women experiences and vice versa. One of which is the irritation about women who constantly needs reassurance about their looks and their worth.

So be the opposite of that girl. You are worth it. Know it and like rule #1 if you project this, there will be a man that will get attracted to that because he knows it too and for you to allow him to get to know more of that worth, will be the greatest challenge he'll ever want to take.

3. DATING IS PERSONAL BUT NOT REALLY

Wait what?

I do have a lot of female friends that get disappointed out there. They want to date a guy but the guy is not interested with them. It's not personal. There is nothing wrong with you nor are there anything wrong with them.

The dating game, ultimately, for me, is about finding the actual right partner that compliments who you are and vice versa. It is more than just looks. It is also about personalities merging and complimenting each other. You can be two beautiful creatures but if your values clash like a tornado and a tidal wave, you may want to re-think this situation before going on further. We want this 'dating' to end up healthy (if it does) or develop better for both.

So don't take it personally. If a guy or a date doesn't work out, THANK GOODNESS IT DID NOT WORK OUT. Because if it did not work out now, most probably, it will be a long a** haul before you can make it work for you and there is not even a guarantee of that. But think about it, would you want it that a guy just stayed with you because he wanted to mold you into his liking? D-baggery is it not?

So relax and kick back a little. Dating is about getting to know the person. If it did not click, don't make it click. Open yourself up to the next experience.

Cheers!

Aries

PLUS SIZE NEWS: ERZULLIE IS NOW AVAILABLE IN FASHION WEARHAUS!

Great news to all of our Cabanatuan Erzulliestas!

Erzullie is now available at the Fashion Wearhaus Plus, 1165 Rizal Street, Brgy. Matadero, Cabanatuan City (In front of Plaza Lucero).

Shop for your fiercest plus size fashion pieces today!

Cheers!

Aries

PLUS SIZE LIFE: "I SUPPORT THE LOCAL PLUS SIZE FASHION SCENE."

It's another fabulous week ahead of us, Erzulliestas!

Only a few weeks more before the public release of Erzullie's Pre-Holiday 2013 collection at the Super Sale Bazaar on July 12-14, 2013 (10am-9pm) at Hall D, World Trade Center, Pasay City.

Continuing the Filipino and plus size pride theme of this month, the Monday Mantra is "I support the local plus size fashion scene". Whether you are a designer, writer, blogger, lover of or consumer of plus size fashion, any form of effort is an additional plus towards a greater and stronger Philippine Plus Size Fashion industry. So don't stop what you are doing! If you are passionate about it, you are helping people by inspiring them to do the same!

Cheers!

Aries

PLUS SIZE FASHION: THE ERZULLIESTA JUNE 2013 (4)

It's that time of the week again, Erzulliestas!

The Erzulliesta June 2013 (4) is now ready to cap off another fierce week. This time, it is on time and if you want to know what happened LAST week. Here is the Erzulliesta June 2013 (3). In a nutshell, it was all about the Fierce+Flaunt and Plus Size Power/Pride.

Moving forward, this week was a little bit more relaxed for Erzullie. There were more announcements than actual plus size style articles. Nonetheless, here is the recap:

#1 It's still June and we are still high on the effects of the Fierce+Flaunt event and everything Filipino. As such the mantra that sets the tone of the week is: "I buy from Local Plus Size Fashion brands".

#2 After the great success of the private launching of the Erzullie Pre-Holiday 2013 collection at the Fierce+Flaunt event, we have announced that we will be publicly releasing it at the Super Sale Bazaar July 12-14, 2013 (10am-9pm) at the World Trade Center, Pasay City.

Aside from this, you also get to enjoy discounts on some of the items of the past collections as well. So if you want to update your wardrobe and maximize your money, you better drop by the fiercest plus size fashion booth in the bazaar!

#3 The much awaited announcement for all the PLUS SIZE MODELS in the Metro and abroad has finally been released. The Next Erzullie Icon Search details have been released and we are now open for plus size model applications. So far we have received 50 plus applications the first week. Hopefully it will break the record of last years which was 1,000 plus if we are not mistaken.

#4 For some trend spotting, during the release of the Resort 2014 fashion collections, the print on print trend is again back in style. Only the women would be able to say if this trend will apply or go bye bye.

#5 And finally, the last of the Erzullie Icon interviews are out. It took us some time before we have released the Kat Catapia interview as we wanted to have a fresh angle on this one. She has been our icon for many years now and we have done so many interviews with her, we wanted to do something that will give some impact. Here it is ladies! The "C" (Catapia) factor.

TOP POSTS:

#1 PLUS SIZE POWER: FIERCE+FLAUNT --- BUILDING A STRONG PHILIPPINE PLUS SIZE FASHION COMMUNITY

#2 PLUS SIZE FASHION: ERZULLIE IN SUPERSALE BAZAAR JULY 12-14, 2013

#3 PLUS SIZE MODEL GO-SEE: THE NEXT ERZULLIE ICON 2013

#4 PLUS SIZE FASHION: THE ERZULLIESTA JUNE 2013 (3)

#5 JOB OPENING: PLUS SIZE PERSONAL SHOPPER (2013)

BUBBLING UP:

#1 PLUS SIZE LIFE: "I AM PROUD TO WEAR PLUS SIZE FASHION" (FIERCE+FLAUNT EVENT)

#2 PLUS SIZE FASHION: ERZULLIE PRE-HOLIDAY 2013 TEASER

#3 PLUS SIZE FASHION: "INTO THE BLUE"

PLUS SIZE MODEL: THE "C" FACTOR (KAT CATAPIA ERZULLIE ICON INTERVIEW 2013)

It took me some time to make this interview final for the great Kat Catapia. After all, she has done so many interviews with us already, I wanted some fresh angle on this one.

To the new Erzulliestas, Kat Catapia is the first ever Erzullie Icon. She was a student of mine in a former school that I have worked in. She is bubbly, likable and a confident plus size woman. At the start of the fashion line, plus size models are sparse. Should there be someone that would come up, they have a lot of restrictions with regards to what they will model. And as most of you may know already, Erzullie is anything but restriction. So I needed somewhat of a miracle back then, and through my office doors, Kat Catapia came to the rescue.

As the brand went on, Kat Catapia, after a long hiatus from the first season of the brand, came back on board as a proper project came for her. It was during the Pre-Holiday 2012 that everything changed for the brand. With her skills and Loren Monares', both of them elevated the brand to a whole new level, giving new vibrance and life to the fashion line. After that, in some sort of magical synchronicity, she also became the Erzullie Icon for the first ever corporate 2013 collection of the brand.

With all these events, it seems like Kat Catapia is always the 'first in everything' but her views on what being a powerful female is differs greatly from that. To her, it's all about using the power you have to make things better. It is with this thought that we have finally solved that mystery as to what makes Kat Catapia such a viable and bankable plus size model and person. She has the "C" factor, and she uses it in all areas of her life to make it a fun-filled one.

Here are her thoughts about the three big C's that she has in her life right now: the Corporate collection, Confidence and of course, being a Chef.

On the current Corporate 2013 collection “Alpha Female”:

I love the corporate collection. The collection brings out the inner tiger of a woman. I actually wear them at work and I got almost all of it already.

This year’s theme was “alpha female” and for me, an Alpha Female knows what she wants to do in her life and knows how to be a leader. Alpha doesn’t always mean that she always has to be on top or be the first but she is a woman of power that knows how to help people perform well to reach the goal. We, as Alpha females, work not for ourselves but for the community to set a better place.

To be an Alpha Female, you just have to believe in yourself and don’t forget to read books. You also need to use your skills to help other people. Reach out to the needy and thank God for all the blessings that He has given you.

On being a confident plus size model:

Education and exposure with other people are some of the factors why I am confident. Head with knowledge can get you anywhere, but knowledge without application is a wasted one. Why not teach other people to impart your knowledge and help them to gain confidence.

I became more confident in plus size modeling because at first I didn’t know that I am capable of doing so. I didn’t know that I can be vain. I seldom take pictures of myself and post pictures at Facebook.

After doing some plus size modeling, I have realized that I can do it. It was my dream when I was a little girl is to be a model. I didn’t expect this but the opportunity came by and I said why not? GO!

When I am in front of the camera a different Kat emerges, this Kat is the fierce one, the serious one. The one who gives orders. Hehehe… I love every shoot of Erzulie. It’s so fun and full of laughter. Makes me hungry!

On being a chef:

I know how to handle a kitchen where all the cooks are men. I use my charms. Those cooks in the kitchen who are older than me are tough but when I use my smile and “pacute eyes” they just follow.