"Old Soul" --- some may think it's a new age-y kind of description, but indeed there are a lot of Erzulliestas who describe themselves as so. Erzullie Icon and Plus Size Model, Chezka Santos, identifies as one. And with a fast-phased world running about, we can only wonder --- how can a gentle, strong, Old soul find a whole new modern love? This Icon shares her thoughts.
#1 What do you think of single plus size women? Sad or Sexy? Why so?
Single Plus Size Women are indeed SEXY! They are not afraid to be alone. They enjoy doing things on their own. They love themselves more. Those who know and value their worth. Women who rocks singlehood is so sexy!
I mean, I am definitely single and yes I am totally happy being one. I guess everyone knows what I had to go through the past 7-year relationship. When that long-term relationship ended, I realized a lot of things. I started enjoying doing things on my own.
I now have more time to focus on the things my heart truly desires. And, when I became single, a door closed, BUT! Several windows opened... yes they opened wide enough. I was able to fulfill my dreams. I was able to wear whatever I want to wear. I was able to go wherever and whenever I want to. There's freedom! Who wouldn’t be happy with that?
But of course, I am open to having a relationship again.
I think, 3 years of being single is just enough for me to recover. Enough for me to put back those broken pieces. Those years made me realize my worth and those years are just enough for me to know how to take care of my heart more.
Now, I am open to having a new relationship not just because I want to, but because I know that I am ready. Now, I know that I'm stronger, braver and most importantly wiser.
#2 Describe the ideal relationship. Why these characteristics?
An ideal relationship for me is having my partner as my best friend. I want to have that relationship wherein we are so comfortable with each other that being honest, sweet, and loving doesn’t need any efforts at all. I just want a light relationship, full of positivity, "chill" as how they call it. Having your partner as your best friend can definitely ease the worries about gaps when it comes to communication, compromises and respect.
I would see my future relationship strongly founded by friendship because I totally believe that if you started as very very good friends, no matter what happens, at the end of the day, you'll still end up being good friends.
My ideal partner is a man with values. I must say, a man with values would know how to treat her girl right.
When it comes to a man I would date, I am an old soul when it comes to this so I would always go with the man who still knows how to properly court a lady. A man should exert effort to get to know, not just me, but also those people who matters a lot to me like my family and my closest friends. I would appreciate it if he's a kind of man who always makes sure that his girl feels very special and truly being loved. It would be best as well if the guy is conversational, like we can talk anything under the sun.
Also, I would love to go out with a guy who has a good sense of humor, someone who can ride my "baliw" moments hehe. But to be honest, the most important thing for me when it comes to dating a guy is... the should have not any "sabit" none at all no other girls, no girlfriend, and most especially, no wife.
If he is going to approach me, I guess it would be nice if he would introduce himself courteously. He would offer a drink and would ask for my name first. A funny pickup line will do, then we'll have small talk. Then yeah probably he can now ask me out hahaha I would imagine it with a little "paandar" to capture my attention. The more creative the better.
If I will be having a relationship anytime soon, as always, I'll go with exclusive. I don’t see myself in any other forms or types of relationship. I truly believe that getting into a relationship requires exclusivity. It’s showing your love and devotion to one person alone.
#3 Do you think you have an expiration date when it comes to relationships? Like if you don’t get a relationship by a specific age, you’re done with dating all together? Why or why not?
No, I dont set any expiration when it comes to relationships. I really believe that age really does not matter when it comes to love.
Falling in love is not restricted to a certain age category. I'm actually not pressured. Yes I’m open to a new relationship, but for me it's really a matter of perfect timing. If love will come my way, then that would be great, but if not, I'll patiently wait until the perfect time comes.
#4 What’s your deal breakers? Mention 3. Why so?
Deal breakers?
Okay, first off., no one has the right to hurt or abuse someone, no matter what. If a guy would hit me out of an argument or whatever. That's an automatic "done-im-out-of-here" for me. No negotiations needed.
Next, unfaithful and not trustworthy. I just don’t see the point of you getting into a relationship then you'll become unfaithful eventually. If you can’t be a stick to one person, then don’t commit to someone, easy breezy.
Lastly, men who disrespects women. It's a real No-No for me if a guy doesn’t know how to respect women. How would you expect someone to show love if he doesn't know how to show some respect? I believe that respect is somehow the core of each relationship. If it doesn't exist, then we're done.
Next please!
#5 What makes you stay in a relationship? Mention 3. Why so?
Based on my past relationships, what makes me stay is the feeling of being loved, being appreciated and of course if there's honesty and respect.
So long as I still feel loved definitely I'd stay. We might have fights, arguments, short-comings, but so long as at the end of the day, no matter what happens, you'll make me feel that you love me, we'll stay together for a lifetime. Also, whenever I'm in a relationship, I really do exert efforts. I treat my man as my King, and it's important for me to feel that those efforts are being appreciated.
If I start feeling that you don't appreciate me, I'll let you know and you have to do something about it, because if not, that can be a factor for me to let go instead. And lastly, the make or break of any relationships, honesty and respect. I give so much of these two in any relationship I've been through so I expect the same from my partner. So long as those still exist, I can hold on to you till my last breath, and that's a promise.
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Erzullie is an invite-only fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Get invited: www.erzullie.com
