PLUS SIZE DATING: THE RISE OF THE FUN 30-SOMETHING SINGLE LADIES

“I am almost 30. I wrote down the things that I want to do before I get to that age and all that I saw was travel, more savings, career and shopping.” This is what my friend kind of said in a group conversation. Then she asked the question that all 30-something single ladies have asked since time started --- is there something wrong with me?

Of course, me and my women rushed in to put her perspective in place. We all told her that it’s normal. In fact, even the ones who were taken, chimed in on how they would view their “single” life, if ever.

One of my girls said she would travel around the world, go through expensive hotels “until where her money would take her”. We are talking about highly independent women in this group, so I can actually see it happening.

Then it just occurred to me. All of us in the group has a clear picture of what we would look like single. And it’s not a sad “huhu I am forever alone” kind of set-up. It was full of friends, fashion, destinations, adventures and misadventures.

After the long talk and exchange of views, my friend felt better on her decision to be a fun, career-filled, travelling, 30-something single.

Then this question popped up --- Is there a rise of the new 30-something single ladies that is actually fun and NOT scary? And better question --- since when was it considered bad to be one anyway?

I will always remember that time when I saw an old classmate of mine. She was carrying her kids with her and she saw me. I tried to avoid her, given that we never really had the best time together in school, but she waved and said her “pleasantries”. I smiled and respectfully acknowledged her.

Then, quick as a lightning, she asked me why am I fat and why am I NOT MARRIED.

Seems like old habits of passive aggressive bullying do not die easily on this one. But before I brought my sass out, I saw her as a whole.

While she was asking me this question, she was pushing a baby carriage with a baby in it, while carrying a toddler, the oldest was just walking but stuck on his phone, while the other one was another toddler who was pulling on her top to be picked up. Aside from that, she had 2 baby bags to manage.

She looked like she lacked sleep. Stress was written all over her eyes and if those dark circles can go any deeper, it would go through the back of her skull.

I actually felt sorry for her.

I offered my help to pick one of the toddlers up and I started helping her take care of the kids while she waits for her… well whatever appointment she had with that day.

This is where all of the 30-something single ladies feel bad about. It is not seeing women their age having babies, it’s the 30-something women of their age, shaming the single ones for “being single and actually loving it”.

We all hear it almost everywhere. When you say you have hit the big 3-0, people are asking, “why are you not married yet?”, “do you have a boyfriend?”, “shouldn’t you be settling down?” --- like you haven’t grown up, if you have not successfully bagged a relationship.

But you know what’s the secret, ladies?

Putting that toddler down and knowing that you have a great afternoon of non-married bliss ahead of you. You may not be married right now, but you got amazing set of friends who will enjoy the ride of being a powerful, non-married female with you. You may not have a boyfriend right now, but you got the whole city to date and explore. Your social list is so open that you are about to meet a lot of great people and effortlessly, without even expecting it --- one day --- your lover is just there.

So enjoy the rise of the new 30-something single ladies! Don’t be ashamed to live your life the way you see it fit. Kids or no kids. Married or not married. The point is, you will go to bed knowing that you HAVE LIVED YOUR LIFE and not what people expect you to be. There is nothing wrong with being 30 and single, as much as being married before or after that fact.

Living your life is an equal game for all ages. So go on, have fun and play! And make sure that the rise of the fun 30-something single ladies is not a trend but here to stay!

Erzullie is an invite-only fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE FASHION: ERZULLIE #HELOVESIT CAMPAIGN (FULL)

Take your pick. Enjoy, ladies!

And remember? A woman like you? #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOU GOT A JOB? #HELOVESIT

Nothing turns on an empowered more than a woman who can depend on herself when it comes to finances. So go on girl! Get that money and make it. Spend and invest as you wish. Build an empire. Crush some old ones while you are at it.

Because a money making woman like you? #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR HISTORY? #HELOVESIT

He loves you for the woman that you are now and what you will become and he knows well that this occurred because of the past that you have endured. So be open to him about it. If he is the man for you, he will take it, accept it and never use it against you.

But trust us. If he is the man for you? Your history? #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR FLAWS? #HELOVESIT

To him, he was attracted to you as a whole. Whatever details that are revealed after is understood as the small piece of the puzzle that reveals an amazing photo.

So embrace your uniqueness. Let is shine bright and be proud. Because your flaws? Trust me. #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR INDEPENDENCE? #HELOVESIT

He fell in love with you for the individual that you are. So don't be ashamed that you can do it all. Go on, Erzulliesta. Embrace it!

Because independent women? Trust me. #HELOVESIT

Cheers!


Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR LOVE? #HELOVESIT

Giving your love is not a form of weakness --- no matter how current society would portray it. It takes more strength to be vulnerable than being someone who has created a thick wall of fear around her. It's easier to lie than to be bold enough and call out the truth.

So if you love a guy, go say it. Because if he is the right guy for you, when you say it to him --- your love? #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR FRAGILITY? #HELOVESIT

A great man knows that a woman is still human. Even a Queen of a massive empire has her days of delicateness. And guess what? #HELOVESIT

Why? Because this is the part where he can do a dashing save and fix it all for the woman he has built an empire with.

So go ahead and be fragile when you want to. #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR FRIENDS? #HELOVESIT

You can't help it. Powerful women attracts other powerful women and you end up making this great circle of connections. Great men will find that even more attractive about you (not intimidating)! In fact, this can even help him validate his choice.

What you showed him (being an empowered plus size woman) is not just a mask. You are the real diamond deal as he can see several other proofs (your friends) of this. He can only become even more proud because of this find.

So your friends? Trust us. #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR CONFIDENCE? #HELOVESIT

A man that would like to date you would like to spend more time loving you rather than constantly assuring you to be confident with yourself. Think about it... even you will find it exhausting.

So let's give the brothers a little hand. Get that confidence up, girl. Because your confidence? #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR CURVES? #HELOVESIT

Trust us. Even without you baring an inch of skin, your curves is something that occupies his mind along with the million other things he should be doing that day.

So embrace it. Because your curves? Trust me. #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: ARIES, WHY DOESN’T HE LOVE ME?

I have watched this little movie gem before --- “Bakit di ka crush ng crush mo?” (Why are you not a crush of your crush?) --- it was based on the book of the same name by a brilliant writer/comedian Raymond Bautista. Although of course, book is always better than movie (at least for me), I would also like to answer that question, but fashioning it to a more Erzulliesta tone --- Aries, why doesn’t he love me?

#1 Does he even know you exist?

I mean how can you expect a guy to notice you, if he doesn’t even know you are there?

It’s like asking a blind guy to just know that a ninja is in front of him. Make yourself known. Fierce up. Get your confidence on and introduce yourself. He may even say to himself, “Damn. Thank you for doing that.”

#2 Are you even ready for what you are asking for?

Oh so many times I have seen this happen to some of my women (or women that my women knew --- you get the point). They are all for this guy and they even made the first move. Then the guy starts to participate in the love tango and what do they do? They bail out. Yes. You read it right, ladies. These women --- bail out.

They start freaking out. They start overthinking. They start losing it. They start acting weird and not themselves just to keep the guy.

And guess what? Guy gets weirded out. Gets turned off. Moves away.

Then what? Girl is left crying. Girls move in for the comfort --- let the healing begin.

After that? Another guy comes by. Girl gets excited. Let’s do the ride again.

It’s a cycle. It’s a weird, somehow psychotic cycle that some women go for.

Let’s break that. How? Let’s reflect --- do I really want to have a relationship right now or just the kilig factor? (kilig = feeling love factor) Because if you are looking for some romantic drama in your life, let’s just pop on a DVD and have fun girly time with our other women.

#3 Because he just doesn’t and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that.

Whatever his reason would be --- he likes this. He loves that. He wants this. He wants that. Things like this. It doesn’t matter. BOTTOM OF THE ISSUE? He just doesn’t like you because he said so.

Sure, you will feel rejected. But believe me, there is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with him either. It’s just that YOU and HIM are not meant to be together. Better news? Your guy is out there. Drop this guy and be open for the new one.   

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR APPETITE? #HELOVESIT

It's simple. He eats. You eat. What's to be ashamed with that? Be yourself and embrace your normal appetite around him. He can even feel relieved knowing that you don't freak out because he brought you a fastfood meal.

Trust us. Your appetite? #HELOVESIT

Cheers!


Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: I WOULD RATHER BE ALONE...

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who will never see me as anything else than a "friend".

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who will only treat me as "one of his many women".

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who continuously promises marriage and commitment, but never follow through.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who plays with my feelings.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who sets a date and cancels it at the last minute --- multiple times.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who cannot decide who I am to him.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who cannot introduce me properly as his woman/lady/girlfriend/fiance/wife to his family, friends or co-workers.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who still cowers to his own fears of commitment.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who cannot tell which one is the truth he told me before.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who belittles my career, the money I make, the living I created and the passions that I pursue.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who refuses to reach the standards for love that I deserve as a woman who is loyal, loving and caring.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who only wants to "talk" to me, but wants exclusivity.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who asks time from me, but then would forget about it right after.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who keeps on telling me that he likes me, but not that way.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who tells me that no matter what I do, I will never be enough for him and that he needs other women to fulfill those needs.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who tells me that I will never be enough for him in general.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who only misses me when I am gone, because I left and I am with someone else.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who is only with me because of the love and care I provide the men I like.

I would rather be alone than be with a man, who tells me that all my efforts of loving him is for nothing, but still wants it anyway.

I would rather be alone --- with me, the one who will love me for no reason at all but just because I am me. I love me and I would rather be alone with me.

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR POSITIVITY? #HELOVESIT

Nothing is more refreshing than coming home or meeting a woman who is full of vibrance and life after a hard day. And knowing Erzulliestas, they see the bright side of things and knows that when things don't go their way, they are given an opportunity to do something better than they thought of.

So go ahead, Erzulliesta. BE POSITIVE. #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR STRENGTH? #HELOVESIT

Don't be shy, woman. A great man is never afraid of great power before him. In fact, if he sees one, rest assured he will be wise enough to treat it like a north star and follow it.

Great men love strong women. Trust me. #HELOVESIT

Cheers!


Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR INTELLIGENCE? #HELOVESIT

We are all smart in our own way and if you display this with positive humility and class --- all the more it becomes sexier for your lover!

So go ahead and be intelligent. You'll never know where the topic may lead to. *wink*

Because your intelligence? Trust me. #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: SOME BITTER TRUTHS ABOUT DATING AS AN EMPOWERED PLUS SIZE WOMAN

You make your own money, got your personal style down to a tee and your career is in the up and up, but you do realize how great it would be for a man to come by and enrich it more than it is. Men respect that. Boys well, they don’t know what to do with it. So, here are some “bitter truths” about dating as an empowered plus size woman.

#1 Not all men actually like knowing that you got everything covered

But then again, these men have to understand that you lack one more layer of covering --- a man who can love you as much as you love yourself. You are so full and whole as a person you are now at that moment in your life that you want to share it with someone and even create bigger blessings in your life. After all, that is the reason that you are in the dating game.

I mean, if you wanted to look for money, you already have a job for that. If you wanted to look for friends, you already have a lot of that. If you wanted family, you already have that. So if ever you do date, make sure to tell him upfront (in a polite manner, of course)

#2 Some men will “low ball” your standards (even your so-called “friends” will encourage it)

Your standards are too high. They said. You need to lower them. They said.

But you should know that standards are relative. At the end of the day, you have to get some that actually matters to you (be completely honest with yourself) because truth of the matter is --- you are the one going to end up in the relationship --- not your friends or anyone else. You are the one who will have to deal with ALL of the consequences.
So standards? Go get them. It’s for your own good.

#3 Not all of your girlfriends will understand your choice of mate (maybe even you!)

Truth is, love is love. There will be times that your choice of mate may give people a reason to scratch their heads in wonderment. But, keep this in mind… YOU ARE IN THE RELATIONSHIP. Those people can bleed their scalps for all you care scratching but if you love a guy and you know that he feels the same, it doesn’t matter if he is the complete opposite of you.

Be happy. Fall in love. Do you.

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN IT’S OVER?

It’s hard to admit, isn’t it? When the relationship that you were so sure of suddenly becomes the most unstable thing in your life. And as the strong woman that you are, you stand by your man as long as you can --- but how do you know when it’s really over?

#1 When you are the only one trying to make it work.

A relationship needs two people to function. If all the efforts are one sided (coming from just you), then you know it’s over. If a guy really wants you to be with him, he’s also going to do everything he can to make it work.

#2 When you did everything that you could, but obviously, your efforts are not “bringing it back on track”.

You’re a superwoman, definitely. You make money, take charge of your life and can run with the social wolves of your time, but you cannot deny the fact that there will be things that you cannot really do anything about.

Why it happens? Well it depends on one person to another. But one thing is for sure, you cannot control other people or situations, but you can definitely control yourself. And at this point, when you have done everything that you could to entice, love, care and save your partner, but your partner don’t want it --- then it’s time to put all that time to you.

And since relationships need 2 people in it… if the only one present is you… then you are not in a relationship anymore. You’re single again without the formal notice.

#3 When there are so many lies in the relationship that you cannot even decipher anymore which one is real or not.

Spare yourself some drama. Embrace some truth pills and become healthy all around. If you are in a relationship that has so many lies and secrets from each other then you are definitely not in a relationship anymore.

You’re in a soap opera. And those things? They need to be left on your TV sets.

You know it’s over when even you don’t know what’s real or not anymore. A relationship is supposed to make each of you stronger and clearer of what you want in life and not the opposite of it.

#4 When you say so

We can try to blind ourselves with some pretty lies and hopes. But at the end of every relationship --- there is only you and your partner. It's really over when one of them (even if it's just you) says so.

So make a choice --- is it really over?

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com

PLUS SIZE DATING: YOUR FIERCENESS? #HELOVESIT

A woman who is in total control of herself and knows when and how to exercise her power is an aphrodisiac on its own.

A brother loves a woman who can defend herself and get territorial if needed. After all, his partner is his equal. If he can protect a woman, he must also feel assured and protected by his lover --- in her own way.

So go on, Erzulliesta. Be fierce. #HELOVESIT

Cheers!

Erzullie is a fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Shop online: www.erzullie.com