It has been almost 5 years since we have last heard from Erzullie Icon and Plus Size Model, Khris Guarin. One of the OG's of Erzullie Iconship, people have been wondering why the sudden disappearance in the spotlight. Here she is opening up about her hiatus, her current modeling career as well as blooming love life.
#1 It has been 5 years since your last collection with Erzullie, why the hiatus?
Just when my Erzullie Iconship was about to end in 2011, I got employed in an international bank where my work schedule is graveyard. Everything totally changed --- socially, as I would rather spend my weekends at home, getting more sleep and binging on any US TV series.
Come 2013, I resigned because I struggled with my health. I thought things would be different when I joined another international bank, where the work schedule is normal, well, it didn’t. My career struggled further as I was in and out of the hospital throughout my first year. The past 2-3 years have been difficult, but eventually things fell into its perfect place.
It wasn’t a complete hiatus. After the Erzullie Iconship in 2011, I was invited to join in the 2nd year editorial campaign shoot and in 2014. I did an outdoor ootd shoot wearing my favorite Erzullie piece. However, those moments were really short and I really missed out on a lot of events.
To be honest, I felt sad and jealous because when I look at the other icons/models, all I could say was ‘I used to be that girl’. There were regrets and what ifs, but one thing I realized with these girls (Aries & Berna), no matter how long you were gone, when they see you, it’s always like you have been always there all along. I mean, there was no awkward moment when I met them for the open shoot last Jan 8th, they were as sweet and as welcoming like when I met them 6 years ago.
There were no ill feelings, but, of course I felt jealous, like any girl would. Erzullie gave me my first modeling break, but it didn’t last long as I would hope. But everything happens for a reason. As I shared earlier, my schedule got crazy. I might have disappointed them back then with late show-ups or even M.I.A.s. During my in-between stints with the team, I realized that these girls did not forget me; timing is just a bitch. Hehe!
#2 During the hiatus, modeling-wise what have you been doing?
I did a provocative shoot that promotes body positivity via artistic nude shoot. And also, for the past 6-7 months, I was part of a fashion runway for a direct marketing brand.
I saw a friend in Facebook who posted about the Boardwalk Silversaya. It was years since I last did some modeling but I tried my luck and went to one of their go-sees, I received a call weeks after asking me to be a part of their plus size rosters.
It was tiring yet awesome. Call time is at 6am and the show ends around 7-8pm. Runway modeling is exhilarating, when you walk in the stage, it is like you are carrying with you the plus size flag.
Million thoughts run through your head, what if the heels break or what if the clothes rip, but when you walk in the center, despite all your worries, you should wear your most sizzling smize and held your head up high, and inspire all those people watching you, that no matter what your size is, being sexy is a state of mind.
Have I mentioned that I also did a lingerie walk? :) The cycle is over and I didn’t make it to the top, but it is okay, because the best takeaway from this experience is the relationships I built with my co-models and the event organizers.
#3 You are now being placed back in the Erzullie Icon roster. How did this come about?
I joined the open shoot for models recently because I want to get an awesome photo before my 30th birthday, and I want to get myself new Erzullie pieces. I do not want to flatter myself but I think the designers noticed me again and see something Erzullie in me (probably that happy glow), hence, I’m back in the roster. Hehe!
If you look at my photos before and compare it with the shots they did on me recently, there is a big difference; my stand, my smize, my movements exude confidence. That is one hell of an Erzullie Icon.
I am looking forward to bring more plus size girls to share the Erzullie experience. Erzullie is not just a fashion brand, it is a fashion lifestyle. There are so many girls out there that are not exposed to body acceptance, girls who harshly judge their selves because of their physique. I want to inspire them with my experience, from a once bullied fat girl to a happy and celebrated fat girl. See what I did there, I will always be a fat girl, but I won’t allow others to define me just because I’m fat.
#4 You are one of the earliest Erzullie Icons. What do you think of your batch of Erzullie Icons from your current batch now? Why so?
The girls now are different. They bring so much joy and sureness in their photos. They make you wanna be them. Before, I think being an icon is just about taking good photos and making sure that the clothes are salable. These girls today are taking the iconship to the next level; it is not about what clothes you wear, it is about how you wear them.
#5 Heard from the grapevine that you currently have a boyfriend. Details!
I call him Pats, hehe!
I told some friends a different story, actually. I told them we met because I was inquiring about an accounting software, haha! My friends knew I have dated a couple of guys I met online but the whole thing always exploded right into my face. They did not believe in Tinder already, but I did not stop. Haha! So when I met Pats, I didn’t tell them he’s from the dating app. So girls, may forever sa Tinder! Haha! Patience lang :)
We started out as friends, really. When I met him online, it is just the usual getting to know part. I love asking a lot of questions because it excites me to know other people. Not just for the intention of knowing them to date them but for the sake of getting other people’s perspective and outlook in life (seriously!) plus it takes my mind off work-related stress.
Anyway, we went to a couple of dates, I even invited him to jog with me in Ultra. Haha! Then just one Saturday night, we decided to define our relationship. He’s easy to fall in love with. He is sweet and kind without trying too hard. He is very thoughtful, and most important, sincere.
#6 What were the three things that made you say, “ah --- he’s the one” before you actually decided to be in a relationship with him? Why so?
Back in 2012, I made a list of qualities I want in a man, and he ticked all the boxes. Here are the top three qualities I saw in him. 1. He is a self-made man. His experiences humbles me. He is flawed but he never gives up on helping himself become a better person. 2. He respects me and my family. 3. He makes me believe in myself. He helps me face my inner monsters.
#7 During the times that you were a single plus size woman, what were the reasons you think you were single? Why so?
I was single for so long, initially I thought it was because I’m unattractive, being plus size and all. I did extreme measures to change that, risking my health, but nothing worked. Then I realized that I was then undateable. My physique may have changed then but my personality didn’t. I lack self-confidence. I have trust issues, and I enjoy pity parties -- No one wants that! I changed my way of thinking, attracted positive thoughts, and alas! The rest is history :)
#8 Were you really aiming for a relationship when you were single? Why or why not?
Of course I was, but I was not even doing anything to be in one. I was not working on my self. I was not emotionally prepared. I was not even going out that often. I was longing to be in a relationship but too lazy to be really out there.
#9 When you met him, were you looking for a relationship? Why or why not?
I was dating someone else when I met him. Haha! but the guy I was dating then was not taking me seriously, he is not really there for me, and doesn't give a rat’s ass in really knowing me well. When I met Pats, he swept me off my feet. It was really easy to fall in love with him.
#10 Were you surprised to be in a relationship right now? Why or why not?
Looking back 5 years ago, yes, I’m still pretty in awe that I am now someone’s girlfriend. Like I mentioned earlier, I really did not believe in myself before. I didn’t think I will be an important person to someone other than my family and friends. I am still a work in progress though, but we are helping each other to be the best for each other.
Erzullie is an invite-only fierce plus size fashion designer brand from the Philippines dedicated to serving the style of the empowered Erzulliesta. Get invited: www.erzullie.com
